Here stood a picture of all my nieces and nephews from early March 2024. It was only up for a couple of days. 

One of my brothers was in it, the one to whom I am closest yet have been the furthest and farthest from over the past few years. 

From birth, our family history, those collective stories, were filled with profound layers of intense types of violence, which finally got us all to a place where we were unable to stay together. 

We’ve all felt that deep, excruciating and humbling pain, most probably. Some from family wounds, others by things of nature, most by social interactions, let alone the ones tied to our sexual and gender dissidence. So much trauma! 

Precisely because of all the deep inner work and therapeutic processes, I was particularly unable to be anywhere near the very people I had grown so fond of and loved so deeply.

Then Came Bali.

I’ve been amounting to Kundalini Teacher Training since 2016 when I started writing my first teacher training application draft. By late September of last year, days one and two in Ananda Ubud’s yoga shala (the practice space for KRI’s immersive teacher training experience in Bali, Indonesia) had already shattered me completely. 

Sat Kriya, Hummee Hum Brahm Hum, and/or a combination of other meditations we held in those beginning days already touched profoundly upon the pain (and hopes as well as the deepest inner desires and secrets) I was carrying. My mom had long thrown me out in writing from a highly dysfunctional – yet still all my nuclear & blooded – family. The reasons behind that make up more brutal stories on which I no longer wish to linger. 

My writing is a celebration of the present. 

A Miracle Has Come True For Me.

Last weekend, I spent time genuinely enjoying as I played soccer, basketball, toss games, and rode bikes in a park with my nieces and nephews. That’s the exact description of what for so many years has only been an instant of my wildest, most profound daydreams, manifestations, realizations…

The experience of sharing once again with my sibling and the children, for us to come together once more in genuine love and joy, has been a true miracle come true for me.

Nothing Happened – Other than Kundalini Yoga.

I’ve lived out the impulse of disbelief. My older brother literally thought I was a bot last week as I unblocked my WhatsApp and reached out to them to say how much I love them. 

I accepted to be seen. 

As I write this, I can’t even explain the peace I’ve felt and have been feeling, so deep within, as I walk into people and spaces where a different Ang was acting. Something in me has gained confidence, self assurance, full trust in the Unknown. 
“Is everything okay?,” people ask, step-father inclusive out of the U.S. as I reach across miles at a time, easing into my Spirit. 

Everything is okay, even when nothing is.

I’ve Just Kept Practicing and

That Has Made All the Difference.

This communication falls so short in detailing the specific whys and hows, the exact kriyas, pranayaams, meditations, and sharing circle topics (nearly all led by Sat Siri more recently, to be honest) that continue to shape the person I am today. 

My family lineage has once again moved across generations indescribably, this time in a heartbeat. Our energies have shifted in ways others cannot believe nor explain! They don’t even need nor have to, because, at this point, we’re not even around to give, ask, let alone demand explanations. 

Today, kundalini yoga practice as a technology is holding me, and it’s doing so as shared throughout many loving communities running all across the globe. It’s paying off big time.

I, too, am only sharing in ancient knowledge. For that, I am much appreciative – and yes, undeniably still a bit shocked, in a good way! 

Yet, here’s a final, yet seemingly crucial addition to what I’m needing to share as loudly as possible at the height of 2024, as well:

Thank you for filling up my cups with so much love. 

That’s all, I think, I’ve really ever wanted.